


Safe Heaven

by sunshinexoxo



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Army, Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Sex, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Psychological Trauma, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:34:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29879826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexoxo/pseuds/sunshinexoxo
Summary: Joel is a US Navy SEAL and sniper who is send to Iraq with just one mission: to protect his comrades. His daughter Sarah is six years old and the reader is already pregnant with their second child.The conflict between staying home and be with his family or protecting his comrades puts him in front of a difficult decision.( laid on the movie American Sniper )
Relationships: Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us), Ellie (The Last of Us)/Reader, Ellie/Sarah (The Last of Us), Joel & Sarah (The Last of Us), Joel (The Last of Us)/Reader, Joel/Tommy (The Last of Us), Maria/Tommy (The Last of Us)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 8





	Safe Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wrote this faster than I thought, I just had a good run again and some great ideas 😆 please enjoy the first chapter ❤️

You parked your car among the hundreds of other cars, taking a deep breath and resting your head on the steering wheel for a moment. You had dreamed about this day for months and it was finally here, you wanted to cry but knew you had to keep your emotions in check, for him. And for Sarah.

Joel had left one month after you found out you were pregnant again. Leaving you for three months to be in a single parent household. You had Tommy and Maria to help of course, but it wasn’t the same. You could have never imagined how tough this would all be. Being pregnant and taking care of Sarah and the household as well.

This wasn’t the first time Joel had been deployed of course, you had suffered through that and made it just fine. Adding another pregnancy to the mix however, made it a million times harder. The lack of communication and the pain of knowing he missed the key moments in your Sarah’s life, gave you lots of restless nights. 

You took another deep breath and got out of your car, quickly making your way to the back to get your little girl out of her car seat.

Grabbing her hand and smoothing a hand over your dress and swollen belly underneath, you grabbed your purse and made your way to the air strip. You stood with the countless other spouses and families waiting to see their soldiers in the flesh. Everyone seemed to have their eyes on the sky waiting with bated breath. 

Finally you could see it in the distance, a plane coming in to land. Once it touched down the crowd seemed to release the breath they were all holding and the nervousness turned to excitement.

It wasn’t long after that a series of white school buses were coasting toward you. Everyone rushed ahead, wanting to be up front and one of the first to see their soldier, but you stayed behind.   
  
You heard the roar of the crowd and saw couples reuniting immediately. You tried to hold back the tears watching a girl nodded her head yes as a young soldier presents her with a ring. You tried to hold back tears as you watched three kids ran away from their mother to tackle their father. You watched as a mom yelled for her son, while his dad recorded the reunion on his phone. 

“Dad!” 

Before you could say or do anything you realized it was Joel, your Joel, walking right in towards you. Sarah let go of your hand and ran to him.

He immediately kneeled down and took her into a tight embrace. “Hey baby girl,” He mumbled with a shaky voice and scooped her up in his arms, hugging her even tighter.

You didn’t try to stop the sob that left your body as he walked closer to you and pulled you to him with his free arm. His backpack and duffle laid now useless on the ground, his uniform rough against your skin. The sensations took over and you finally felt yourself relax. He was here and he wasn’t going anywhere but home with you. 

“God I missed you.” You glanced up at him through teary eyes and gave him a megawatt smile. He pulled you in for a long kiss, the two of you savoring the taste and feel of each other, Sarah still in his arm, hugging him tightly.

“We missed you too. This little girl did more than me I think.” He let out a chuckle at that, kissing Sarah’s cheek who had laid her head in the crook of his neck.

Joel looked you up and down, his hand move carefully over you swollen tummy. “You’re showing,” he noticed with a happy hum and you leaned more against him. 

“It’s been a while,” you murmured and intertwined your fingers with his. _Yeah indeed, actually four month._

“C’mon, let’s go home.” He took his backpack and duffle and you three made your way over to the parking spot.

* * *

You didn’t do much after you went home. You cooked Joel’s favorite dish and all watched a movie and went early to bed. When he took Sarah to bed you got ready for bed in the bathroom.

You just finished brushing your teeth when he entered the bathroom, standing behind you. The heat radiating from his body warmed your back, his breath a caress on your ear. 

Your smooth skin disappeared under your silk night gown. Your hair was loose and you had some fuzzy socks on.

Joel then slowly raised his hands, tracing them along your swollen bump, softly smoothing your skin. He kept his eyes on yours in the mirror, seeking approval for every move he made. 

You closed your eyes when his soft and warm lips kissed your bare shoulder and nipped at the base of your neck.

You tangled your fingers with his, humming softly at his affectionately touch. “It’s a girl.” You whispered then and a smile forming on your lips.

You didn’t told him when you found out because he still was overseas. You wanted to wait until he finally got home again.

He hummed against you, at peace once more, as he kissed your temple. Fingers danced along your shoulder once more, grazing the soft skin there. You sighed gently.

”You have a name yet?” You shook your head and felt the sudden shift in his voice. You didn’t hesitate and asked him. “How bad?”

“Very.” His chest ached a little as he tried to stave off the feelings the completed mission had left in him.   
  
“I’m here.” You turned your head and kissed his shoulder, your mouth meeting the clothing he was wearing. Joel couldn’t feel your mouth or the soft kiss you left there.

He needed the clothes off, gone, burned. But he needed to touch you first. Very carefully Joel traced the curve of your full breasts, before he cupped them and swiped his thumbs over your sensible nipples. You arched against his touch and let out a shaky breath.

“I missed you.” He pinched your nipples gently and rolled them between thumb and forefinger, smiling when you jumped and sighed. 

Joel squeezed your breasts and pressed a kiss against you throat. “I missed you too.” You moaned quietly, Joel not relenting in his ministrations. “I missed my girls,” he murmured to you before he grazed his teeth over your earlobe.

You purred when he took his hands away to run his fingers up your sides, scratching lightly and reveling in the softness of your curves.

Turning around you then captured his lips in a soft kiss. “When is your next appointment,” he whispered against your mouth. Joel could feel your heartbeat and worry as you clenched your jaw.

”On Monday,” you looked in his eyes, smiling and hooking your arms behind his neck as you captured his mouth in a small kiss. When you pulled away, he smiled as well, slowly finding comfort in your gently touch and soft voice.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked about the mission, he knew it. You always talked about it but for some reason it was difficult this time. The things he did, things he had to do this time. There were borderline brutal, disturbing and horrified. It did something with him. It always did something with him.

He cleared his throat, “No,”

You didn’t pressure him any more, so you only kissed him one final time and made your way to the bedroom. 

The first night sleeping next to you again was heaven for Joel. There was no place he rather would be right now. Best of all it was Sunday and you slept in. So he slept in.

There was a comfort of your body pressed against him. He loved the sound of your deep breathing. It was much better than the harsh buzz of his alarm going off for training sessions early in the morning.

His arms tightened and he pulled you closer to him burying his face in the back of your neck. His arm was around your stomach and his fingers began to softly caress your bump.

“Morning,” You mumbled and turned in his arms.

“Good morning,” He rumbled. His voice still soft and gravelly with sleep. He leaned in and kissed you. It started with a hard press of his lips on yours. Not really intended to be anything other than a good morning kiss. You made it linger and the soft hum that escaped you made him want more. Still caressing your belly he deepened the kiss.

“Mmm…” You hummed pulling back and sucking on his lower lip.

His hand roamed up under your night gown and he ghosted his fingers along the underside of your breast.

”Ohw!” You suddenly pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” Joel asked worriedly.

You grabbed his hand and put it on your naked stomach. He then could feel a slight movement under his hand. “She knows that her daddy is home,” you mumbled and watched how he stared at your hands. 

Joel slowly slide down until his face was just above your tummy. You shivered when he gently kissed your skin, his beard scratching against your belly. His other hand softly smoothing over your side. Gently running one hand through his hair you hummed at his little kisses he gave you. 

His hands slid down to the waistband of your panties just as he slipped his fingers under the elastic he heard the muted footfalls of Sarah running down the hall.

Joel rolled off you and slowly sat up.

“Daddy!” Sarah bursted through the door and ran towards him.

“What’re we gonna do today?” She squealed and Joel picked her up, putting her in his lap. 

You pulled yourself up on your elbows, watching them with a smile on your lips. “How about,” he got up with Sarah in his arms, “we’re making some breakfast first, uh baby?” She nodded with a big smile and Joel chuckled.

”Alright,” he murmured and turned to look at you. “So we’re gonna make some breakfast mum, you got any wishes?” 

You watched them, thought for a moment but shook your head then. “Just don’t burn the kitchen down.” You said and Joel scoffed. “We? Never, uh Sarah?” 

Sarah giggled and you raised one eyebrow. “I’m warning you guys.” You spoke amused and watched how Sarah tried to imitate your expression. _This girl._

* * *

You sat in the waiting room and flipped through a magazine, trying to look occupied so Joel wouldn’t notice that you were actually studying him. He was sitting beside you, one arm stretched over the back of your chair, the other hand close to his mouth, since he was constantly yawning. He’d actually dozed off a few times, jolting awake before he’d get too deep into sleep. 

It was Monday, Sarah was in school and you had your appointment. The weekend was quiet. You just were home, baking some cookies with Sarah, chilling in the garden and watching some tv. Joel called his brother and informed him that he was home again. He was quieter than usual. You noticed it even if he thought he could hide it. But something changed since his last operation.

You flipped a page in the magazine, not even bothering to look at the pages. You moved a hand to your stomach, inadvertently elbowing Joel in the process. He shifted in his chair, sitting up and moving his arms in front of him.

“You okay?”

You gave a soft smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine. How are you, babe?”

He moved a hand to your belly. 

“Is she moving around?”

You nodded, moving his hand and watching a slight smile spread over his lips when the baby rolled under his hand. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Joel lifted his head from looking at your belly and met your eyes. His eyes seemed dull, lacking their usual spark, with dark circles under them. His beard was a little longer than usual, a little unkempt. He smiled at you and nodded, and you could almost feel the exhaustion rolling off of him. _He wasn’t here with you. He was far away..you just felt it._

“I’m good,” he said again to convince you even if you had long seen through him.

You nodded, both of you looking towards the door when it opened and the nurse called your name. The two of you stood up, following her to an exam room.

You pulled your sweater off and climbed up on the table, you watched Joel sink into the chair in the corner, letting his long legs sprawl in front of him as his head fell back. You started to say something, biting your lip instead when he crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. 

You stared at your hands, trying to blink away the tears you didn’t know why were brewing in your eyes. You sniffled and Joel’s eyes opened, his arms falling by his sides as he sat up, opening his mouth and closing it again when a knock sounded at the door and the doctor walked in. 

“Mrs. Miller, how are you?”  
“I’m good, Dr. Brooks. How are you?”

He smiled, nodding his head. 

“I’m doing great. Mr. Miller, how are you? Feels good to be finally home again?”

Joel stood up, shaking the doctor’s hand. 

“Yes, feels great,” he murmured back, glancing at you briefly.

Dr. Brooks nodded. 

“Alright, I’m going to do a physical examination, and then we’ll do an internal ultrasound, okay?”

You nodded, laying back on the table and putting your feet in the stirrups. You closed your eyes, opening them again when Joel’s hand slid into yours.

You looked over to where he was standing, his back to the doctor, eyes focused on you.

When the examination was done, the doctor wheeled the ultrasound machine over.

“Alright, Mrs. Miller. You’ve done really well so far. Try and stay relaxed for me.”

You nodded, exhaling as he inserted the ultrasound probe.

“Everything looks good here..”

You nodded, closing your eyes. They snapped open again as a soft whooshing sound began to fill the room. You looked to the doctor and he smiled when you caught his eyes.

“That’s her heartbeat.”

You sucked in a breath as Joel turned around, facing the screen. He heard the heartbeat for the first time.

You took in a breath, looking over as Joel gripped your hand more firmer.

He looked at the ultrasound up on the screen. You watched him how he was unable to taking his eyes off the screen.

”Beautiful just like her mother,” he murmured after a while and you chuckled, squeezing his hand.

Dr. Brooks also chuckled and wrote something down on a clipboard. After that he looked at you.

”Otherwise is everything okay?”

You nodded, thinking for a moment.

“Actually, I’ve got a question.”

Joel looked at you and raised an eyebrow. After a minute, you sighed, then looked to the doctor. 

“The other day, I had this really bad … I don’t know. It felt like cramping. And it wouldn’t stop. I didn’t bleed with it or anything, but it really hurt.”

“What did you do to make it stop?”  
  
“I drank some tea and took a warm bath.”

Dr. Brooks nodded. 

“And that helped?”

You nodded before speaking again,  
“I didn’t had this during my first pregnancy so I was worried.”

“If that helped you or made the pain stop, then most likely that was a bout of Braxton-Hicks contractions. That’s your body sort of doing a warm up for the real contractions. There’s nothing we can do to stop them, but they don’t really do much damage other than hurt.”

“But … she’s okay, right?” You asked.

“Has she been moving like she normally does?”

You nodded again, and Dr. Brooks gave you a smile. 

“Then she’s fine. If you notice a significant change in her movements, then you should get to an ER. But if everything seems normal, then just go with it.”

Joel stepped forward, running a hand over his beard. 

“So it’s not bad to have this during the second pregnancy?” He asked and sat down beside you.

“There’s no rhyme or reason to the Braxton-Hicks. Some women have them, some don’t. Some have them their whole pregnancy, some just have them at the end.”

Dr. Brooks looked back to you.

“You’re healthy. Your weight is fine, bloodwork looks great. We’ll schedule your glucose test to make sure you’re not diabetic, but we don’t have to worry about that right this second. There’s nothing to indicate that you are. Everything seems fine with the baby. There is no reason you shouldn’t carry on with a normal life.”

He looked to Joel, observing him for a moment. “Can I check your blood pressure, Mr. Miller?” Joel frowned but nodded.

You pulled on your sweater again, watching them. 

„Just like I thought,“ Dr. Brooks spoke and pointed to the screen. You gasped and Joel looked at you curiously.

”Joel,” you whispered and Dr. Brooks pulled off the blood pressure meter of Joel’s arm. “What?” 

“A measuring from 170 to 110 is not good. That’s really high for just sitting Mr. Miller.” 

“I’m fine.” Joel spoke low and cleared his throat. “I think you should go see a doctor.” Dr. Brooks said and watched him intensely. He knew that Joel served overseas so you kinda were grateful for him to notice his not well-being.

”I don’t think so.” Joel answered and scratched his nose, standing up and helped you off the table. You glared at him worriedly but didn’t say anything.

“This is your next appointment.” Dr. Brooks handed you a paper with dates and notifications. You thanked him shaking his hand and left the room after Joel also shook his hand.

After you sat in the car again you couldn’t resist. “Joel you need to see a doctor. This is anything than good.” You watched him but he only looked ahead of the road. “Babe, I’m fine,”

You sighed. „I’m worried about you. Don’t take this easy.“ He glanced over at you.

His hand went to your thigh, gently rubbing your skin. „I’m serious.“ You spoke more firmer and took his hand when he didn’t say anything.

“You don’t have to worry about me.“ He said after a while but you didn’t believe him. You didn’t believe him at all. Something changed. Something happened over there. You knew it. It wasn’t your husband you were sitting with in the car. And suddenly you were scared more than you thought you would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really excited where this story will lead us 🤭 did you liked it so far?


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